How I Met Your Summer Vacation (The I’m Not Just Lazy, I Swear Edition)

Sooooo… How’s everybody been? Summer, huh? Wacky, right?

Small talk, small talk…

Anyhow, I haven’t been neglecting this blog on porpoise (that’s what I wrote and I’m sticking to it…). I have been under the weather (a lot), lazy (a little) and working (too much). But no more excuses! Posts must get back to normal ASAP! I like exclamation marks today!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But, before that happens, this post is to help me finish a class. Yup, I’ve been taking a class. On screenwriting for short films. Taught by James Franco. I admit all of those things both 1- sound crazy and b- are true.

I’ve had an idea rolling round for a short for ages but  I was also busy. Mostly being plagued with the dread of “I’ve never written shorts so how would that even work!?! I only write longs!!!!!”

This class, thankfully, had a very limited amount of source material to choose from, and I enjoyed it a bunch. (Um, wait, I’m sorry… I have to WRITE A SHORT that HAS TO BE an ADAPTATION?! Did you see me cartoon sweating over here?! The thankful part came only after I was done. Don’t tell anyone.)

I think what I’ve learned is that if you can write a script well, you can write a script of any length well. It’s exactly the same process. Which I never would have guessed on my own. I probably would have never tried on my own, if I’m being totally honest…

So, with HUGE exclamation-filled (!!!) thanks to James and Vince (plus a few sleepless nights) here it is: The Man Comes Around.

Judge me as harshly as you wish.

A Handy Guide To Everything A Screenwriter Should Not Say. Ever.

Yup. Everything not to say. All in one place.

I am well familiar with the work of William Nicholson (as are you) but I know nothing about the man outside of his work. I thought well, maybe the clickbaiters are taking quotes out of context to try and drive some traffic… But there was this:

“’12 Years a Slave’ came out in America and that sucked up all the guilt about black people that was available. They were so exhausted feeling guilty about slavery that I don’t think there was much left over to be nice about our film. So our film didn’t do as well as we’d hoped, which was a bit heartbreaking.

“We showed it to test audiences very extensively and it got astounding responses. These things are measured in percentages and it was in the high 90s every time. So, honestly, we thought we had a winner. And when it didn’t become a winner it was devastating, actually, it was very distressing.

“I really thought it was going to win lots of awards, partly because it’s a good story but also because I thought I’d done a really good job and the director had done a really good job. So it has been very tough for me. Some things work and some things don’t. You just have to soldier on.”

… Ummm. Yeah…

There’s more in the Hitfix article, but be warned- it’s more than a bit heartbreaking. I mean, where to begin…?

Comparing Mandela’s struggle to slavery in America is so… misguided is the word I’m going to use.  There are others. Even going so far as to imply that people would see 12 Years A Slave (or Mandela, for that matter) out of guilt? Or that one filmic struggle cancels out the other because they both involve “black people”. What? I’m amazed he didn’t drag Fruitvale Station into the discussion. But, hey, it didn’t steal his awards thunder, so I guess it further didn’t merit a mention.

Wow. I’d honestly like to break this down further, but it’s making me too sad. This cannot be diversity in 2014, folks. We have got to do better.

What a weird (and kind of wonderful) Thank You, Zach Braff

Yeah, this happened.

And it made me giggle, honestly. So cheesy, yes, but in a good way… And it honestly looks like a good movie.

Anyhow, yes, I owe a weekend reader post AT LEAST… It was another convention weekend, but the less said about that, the better. Any-anyhow, it is a-comin. But I hope you enjoy a glimpse at MY PERSONAL TRAILER in the meantime.

The Weekend Reader – May 9ish (The TON Of Reading and Happy Mothers Day Edition)

It has been a couple of weeks… (Feel free to put the emphasis on that sentence wherever you would like…)

Pneumonia. Ick. The less said about it, the better. But I have been itchy to get back to work (at least, I think that is what the itch is) so I will start off niiiiiiiice and sloooooow. With some time on my hands, much reading was done. SO MUCH.

 

Get ready for the random stuff:

 

And the good stuff:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Weekend Reader- April 18ish (The Hotblooded at WonderCon Edition)

I’ll say right off the bat I was looking for the Apu montage for this song, but I couldn’t find it anywhere:

And what do Foreigner and WonderCon have in common? Both involve someone having a fever of 103. No joke.

But I wanted to thank all the awesome people who came out this weekend before I took a break from all the things for a bit. You guys made it all worthwhile.

The Weekend Reader – April 11ish (The Waiting for Wondercon Edition)

Our quote of the week comes from Jon Hamm:

“There is no world in which I’m winning Best Shirtless anything,” he said. “I’m not a vampire, and I’m not a zombie and I’m not Kristen Stewart or Jennifer Lawrence. I’m not those four things, so I won’t be winning Best Kiss. If there was a category called Best Guy Who Kind of Reminds You of Your Dad. I would maybe win that one.”

It’s been another light reading/too much working week for me. And, no, it wasn’t just watching Captain America over and over (I’ve only seen it twice) it’s been just work. Work work work, it’s all I ever do (That’s a favourite expression of my dad’s, of whom Jon Hamm does not remind me… But I digress.)

Let’s see… what’s happened this week:

Wanna talk to Robert Downey Jr? He wants to hear from you.

He’s also the subject of the best game from this past week

Here’s some insight into Teen Titans (and why I totally don’t understand them)

A fun project you can fund for the next 12 days – She Got Game

There’s a new book out called Mom in the Movies, to which… I dunno what to say

This review had the best pull line I’d ever read: Draft Day Is Like the NFL’sMoneyball Except It’s Cruel to Nerds and Is Terrible

 

Aaaand, that’s it. I promise at least a WonderCon update this week. As for anything else…

Weekend Reader – April 4ish (The Spoiler-Free Steve Rogers Edition)

Has anyone else just had the worst week?

Well, it would have been the worst week, except I got to see Captain America: The Winter Soldier. So it was the best worst week.

Did you know Cap has his own froyo? So many flavours. Including Cheesecake! I wouldn’t think he’d be into that, considering how long he was on ice. Insensitive? Anyway…

My only Cap-related complaint is that’s it’s really hard to find non-3D screenings. That’s the definition of first world problems right there. Like I said, anyway…

If you read the header of this post, you know what I’ve been reading this week. And you don’t need me to tell you how good this movie is. I’m sure there are lots of reviews you can read. But, if you’re looking for your Avengers news fix, you are in the right place:

An interview iffy in quality from The Guardian

THR had SO MANY THINGS

 

A WARNING: this link is a bit misleading… Someone cut together scenes from different movies and used the word naked in the title… But, really, he’s wearing pants. Mostly.

(And go see Snowpiercer as soon as you have a chance)

As for the other Avengers…

And…

 

The Weekend Reader March 28ish – (The Stuck In An Airport With You Edition)

Did anyone else notice March went by really, really quickly?

Also, did anyone else spend an inordinate amount of time in March reading about Chris Evans?

Just me? Alright…

All the Captain America-related reading will be found in next week’s Reader. As a result, you might notice a dearth of reading material this week. I’ve been on the road working, I swear. Not just swooning over Chris Evans. In fact, as I write this, I am stuck in an airport lounge waiting  for a delayed flight. As far as I know,  Chris Evans is not here, nor is he responsabal for the flight delay. So I think I need to stop thinking about him…

 

Ahem. Anyway:

Attention female filmmaker! There’s grant money out there to finish your films.

Are there differences between writers and the mentally ill? Not so much.

New York state may give incentives to encourage diversity in writers rooms.

David Goyer really doesn’t care what you think (umm… and maybe he should? Possibly? Perhaps?)

The Black List has TONS of partnerships happening right now. Be sure to check them out!

Jason Bateman’s BAD WORDS opens wide this week. It’s a filthy, funny adult comedy that you should see if you haven’t

And the best thing I saw this week (or, possibly, in 30 years…)

 

More next week. Until then, Chris Evans! Um… OK, I did honestly think that. I’m not gonna lie.