Seriously, ELLE? Do You Never Learn?

I actually don’t want to spend a lot of time (read: any time at all) talking about how women look. Between fat shaming and slut shaming and body image issues… oh man, I have completely lost track of why I’m supposed to hate myself.

My personal solution? I like myself. I deprive all the shaming industries of what they desire most- my self-loathing. But, I know not all women are so fortunate. So, we find ourselves here. Again.

ELLE MAGAZINE! WHAT ARE Y’ALL UP TO? I’M ASKING! FOR SERIOUS!

For the second time in six months, ELLE Magazine got real scurred about having a non-sample size woman on the cover. Note the distinction there- A woman, not a model. We should all know that high fashion is not reality. We should all know that professional models aren’t ever styled to look like actual human people. And you know who should know that better than anyone?

EVERYONE AT ELLE MAGAZINE.

The folks at ELLE seem allergic to women who don’t fit in their sample size designer closet. Come out of the closet, ELLE. (Yes, unironically.)

Note to ELLE: There are a bunch of real women out here- beautiful, strong, smart, talented and funny women- who know that sample size is not real size. To take it a step further, we are unafraid to see that reality reflected on the cover of magazines from time to time. If you’re taking time out to honour talented women or funny women, we know they’re not going to be the homogenized coat hangers with heads that usually appear on magazine covers. We’re big, strong people. (Yes, unironically.) We can take it.

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Do You Read The Articles You Publish, E!?

That punctuation is tricky to figure out- if something ends with an exclamation point and you have a questions regarding a BONEHEADED THING THEY PRINTED, what’s the proper etiquette?

I’m just gonna go with calling them on it. Hopefully, you have’t seen this.

In brief: Zooey Deschanel is on the cover of Elle Magazine Women in TV issue. In the article, she says lovely things like “If there’s one thing I’d like to graduate from, it’s girl-on-girl hate. I don’t believe in it.” and describes social media as being akin to “…the grown-up version of middle school nastiness…”

Now, I thought, that’s a bit harsh… But then I saw the writeup on the article via E!, including this:

“The New Girl actress joins Mindy Kaling, Amy Poehler and Allison Williams in being honored for her comedic skills (and, come on, good looks!).”

So her comedic skills aren’t really why she’s being honoured, then? And those other women, had they been homely as hedge fences, wouldn’t have been deserving of being celebrated either? Or is the inference that Elle wouldn’t bother to honour any woman, funny as she might be, if she were considered ugly?

Don’t get me wrong- I totally get the slavering froth pile that is E! and their desire for an LCD audience- but I’m not accepting that as an excuse. In an public forum, can a woman not do her job well and be recognized for it without how she looks entering into the conversation? Maybe a good question to ask yourselves, rather than being kind of idiotically sexist…